cultivating your own center of gravity
Center of Gravity, Bernadette Cay 2015. Sumi ink on paper. Painted one morning before heading to work.
Stretched too thin
We live in such a fast-paced world. External stimuli pulls us in many directions. Many of us have demanding jobs, which are always on our mind, pulling us into another meeting, fielding constant pings. Partners want us to spend time with them, friends want us to hang out, loved ones have their needs and expectations. In each of our pockets is a phone with its notifications and infinite scrolls, vying for our attention. Living in a stimulating environment like NYC compounds all this–a never-ending casino of fantastic experiences to consume. FOMO, FOMO, FOMO. It’s no wonder many of us feel like we’re being pulled in so many different directions. As a result, we can soon feel like pizza dough: flattened, overly attentive to everyone else, stretched thin enough to almost break.
Come back to center
When a client comes to me at the threshold of a job transition or a life decision, they can tell me a lot of about the surrounding situation, but they’re often uncertain at what to do next. They could be a total boss at their day jobs and make work decisions with ease, but find it challenging to access their own preferences and emotions. They are absolutely well-equipped to navigate the situation. But being pulled in so many different directions, it’s hard to hear their own inner wisdom.
How might you converge all that external-facing energy and come into one’s own center of gravity? How might you “ball up” and gather the “pizza dough”?
In physics, “matter” is something that takes up space and has mass. Let’s say you have a piece of rock floating in outer space. The ones big enough to have a gravitational pull become planets, the rest become their moons in their orbit, or asteroids floating around in space. Some of us have spent our whole lives being “moons” or “asteroids” (of our workplace, our partner, our parents) and are for the first time coming into our own as a “planet.” For others, you may already be a planet who just needs a come back to center.
The word “gravity” comes from Latin, for "weight, heaviness, pressure." This is practice converging your own time and energy, placing weight on your own preferences and opinions, and starting to influence the world around you instead of only the other way around. No matter where you are on this spectrum, the idea is to re-sensitize to your own preferences and emotions; your own body and inner wisdom; to cultivate a healthy solitude, the kind that lets sediment fall to the bottom of a glass of water.
The idea is not that you’re shirking your responsibilities or ignoring everyone else, but that you can respond to them (vs. simply appease or react) from a grounded and centered place, clear on your own values, needs, and prioritization.
For inspiration
What do you need to do to re-center? Here are some tools and practices for inspiration.
Starting your day with daily practices like morning meditation, journaling, yoga, or a walk
Throughout the day, how might you pay attention to your body and its needs? Things as simple as: eat when you’re hungry, go to the bathroom when you need to, close your eyes briefly and disconnect from your screen, take a deep breath, take a walk or a stretch break, get enough sleep.
Connect with your body. Enjoy practices such as yoga, dance, or surfing, where you sensitize to your body and flow.
Healthy solitude. Book a day or two to yourself and take a self-retreat
Conserve your chi. Give yourself permission to set healthy boundaries, scripts for saying “no” and practicing Non-Violent Communication. Take control of your tech.
Reconnect with your inner wisdom. Meet your Inner Mentor.
If you’re in transition, carve off time on your calendar a few times a week for your transition process. “Cowork” with yourself, if you will. Set up a special space within your home where you’ll do this work.
Magnetizing your own Inner Compass
Most of the planets in our solar system have a magnetic field. Using Earth as an example, a compass works because it can sense the polarity of Earth’s magnetic field. Similarly, these tools and practices, when done regularly, help us sensitize our own inner compass, such that when a decision or transition comes up, we can look to our own inner wisdom to help guide us.